No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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