i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
