I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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