would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he was CRYING into my vagina
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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