we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize