last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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