The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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