a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
time to smoke my breakfast
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
