I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
