i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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