i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
