just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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