69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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