wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
