It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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