do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.