So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
