Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
