He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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