You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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