I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
