His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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