after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
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I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
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But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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