I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
