I must be too annoying 4 u.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Every concussion has its silver lining
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
