She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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