So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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