I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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