Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
