My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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