he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
