we have officially lost it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
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That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
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I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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