Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
