brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
