He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
