it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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