My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
