I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
