Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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