i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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