You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
