I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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