He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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