Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Everclear isn't food dammit
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
