Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
