You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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