I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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