We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
