I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
