Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
