well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
