sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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