I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
