Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
