his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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