I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
