Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
