I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
