Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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