It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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