I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
