I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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