you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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