pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
they call him Oral-B. enough said
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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