All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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