I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
